Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5427 of 6385
making my own four loko in a blender: a bottle of vodka, 4 red bulls, a bottle of cherry nyquil and a McRib. I'll be in the bathroom if you need me.
's dog may be getting too old. he/she fell over when I tried to ride him/her.
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11-17-2010 17:25
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I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.
In an elevator I like to pull out a picture of myself and ask people "have you seen this person?"
if a hermaphrodite goes missing, do you put their picture on a carton of Half and Half?
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11-17-2010 15:31
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Do you have to fly to go get one of those TSA airport pat-downs? Just asking
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11-17-2010 14:52 by Bill
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When I was a little girl, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
If a person from Iceland and a person from Cuba have a baby together, would it be considered an ice cube?
I wish I could google the things I've misplaced.
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11-17-2010 12:40
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Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!"
Curiosity killed the cat... but satisfaction brought him back.
Maybe the TSA is just offering prostate screenings as part of Obama's healthcare reform???
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11-17-2010 12:11 by Bill
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According to scientists drinking one can of four loko is like drinking 4 beers, 2 red bulls, a small taco, a ghost and a park bench.
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11-17-2010 11:53 by Aaron
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Warning, Taking this medicine with alcohol may cause you to loose consciousness....Probably should have read that two hours ago
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11-17-2010 11:52
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I wonder if its possible to actually get a girl's number when you say "what yo name is girl, what yo name is" Either I'm gonna get slapped or we could go cash our welfare checks together.
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11-17-2010 11:43
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After several years I finaly saw the whole picture ... Damn you A.J. and Nick, you ruined the growing potential of the Backstreet Boys !! :p
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11-17-2010 11:30
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- Awesome high speed chase on FoxNews ending with the guy ramming the back of a tanker truck carrying Orange Juice. Anyone else find it ironic that O.J. actually STOPPED a high speed chase????
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11-17-2010 11:23 by Jay
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a little upset about this potential ban on four loko. Aren't they aware that breakfast is the most important meal of the day?
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11-17-2010 10:57 by chuckg
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Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
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11-17-2010 10:40 by Orania
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Until you called me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.
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11-17-2010 10:38 by Orania
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