Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Auto-Correct is shut, every time I try to swear it ducking corrects it, for duck sake it's doing it now, to he'll with it, suck on my cook you auto-correcting butch!

   Can you really get everything you want at Alice's Restaurant ? (except for Alice)..

   If three strikes in bowling is a turkey, then I wish you a happy XXX day tomorrow.

   obama even suxs more on thanksgiving....

   This years Thanksgiving challenge: See if you can sneak a bowl of Lucky Charms on the table.

   Having Grey Goose For Thanksgiving Dinner

   You call it leftovers, I call it fine dining for at least a week.

   Redneck turkey timer: add a handfull of unpopped popcorn to your stuffing... when his ass blows off he's done!

   Stand up for what is right, even if you're standing alone.

   No one can do everything, BUT everyone can do something!!!

   Vu ja de: When you are in a situation that reminds you of something that will happen.

   everybody is celine dion in the shower..

   Like a good neighbor, Mr. Rogers is there

   just realized that Superman was an illegal immigrant

   Goldfish and animal crackers.....Her favorite kind of surf and turf

   thinks people who end sentences with prepositions should knock it off.

   Deja Fu: I've been kicked in the head like this before...

   praying I don't get gravy on my nice clothes.

   wondering what all the Vegitarians are doing for Thanksgiving.

   going thru the airport scan today with a complete spiderman suit under my street clothes