Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5144 of 6446

Everyday I think people can't get any more stupid and pretty much everyday I'm proven horribly wrong!

Dear cellphone companies: please invent a "unsend my text" option
←Rate |
03-13-2011 21:08 by scottyp
Comments (0)

An Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you will love it!"

(beep) (beep) (beep) You have reached a status that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. I you feel this message is an error, please log off and try your comment again. Thank You.

The secret to a great relationship...Argue Naked!

" Hey ,Skinny jeans aren't for men" Sincerely, Your Balls.
←Rate |
03-13-2011 18:26
Comments (0)

Don't do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It's called college.
←Rate |
03-13-2011 18:13 by BEGO
Comments (0)

Actually, every picture you have is from when you were younger.
←Rate |
03-13-2011 17:54
Comments (0)

Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

thinks some people wake up and eat a massive bowl of stupid for breakfast everyday!

So I was at the park flying my kite and this random guy came up to me and said "You flying a kite?" I replied "Nah I'm fishing for birds"

I just seen someone dressed as the Statue of Liberty running down the road being chased by a Rottweiler..... Today is off to a great start!!!

Just remember if the world didnt suck, we'd all fall off
←Rate |
03-13-2011 16:36
Comments (0)

BBC News: AMERICA TO SEND 2 NUCLEAR EXPERTS TO JAPAN. The last time they sent "Nuclear Experts" to Japan, they killed 105,000 people...

I just kicked my shoe off my foot and it bounced off the excercise ball and hit me in the face
←Rate |
03-13-2011 16:33
Comments (0)

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
←Rate |
03-13-2011 16:31
Comments (0)

Today I didn't know what to do- the devil on my shoulder pushed my angel off other shoulder but just a moment ago the angel came back with a baseball bat!

Welcome to the Betty Ford Clinic, my name is Charlie and I'll be your bartender for the evening. What'll ya have?
←Rate |
03-13-2011 16:16
Comments (0)

Watching wrestling. Kinda tired of hearing the fans yell "WHAT???" That catchphrase was old years ago. DAMN YOU STEVE AUSTIN! ;) ;) ;)

If you don't have a love in your life, don't worry. If you keep living a life with no regrets, either your love will come or someone will regret living their life without you.
←Rate |
03-13-2011 15:47 by ptv
Comments (0)