Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   One of God's greatest pranks would be to leave Rihanna behind as the 'only girl in the world' on saturday.

   Of all the Savages. First I hoped Michael Savage, then I considered Fred Savage, but alas, its the finest Savage of all.

   that akward moment,when you go to a public restroom and the seat is warm!!

   Live, Laugh, Love. If that doesn't work, Ready, Aim and Fire.

   building my weekend playlist. So far I have REM "It's the End of the World" and Anita Baker "Caught Up In the Rapture". Any suggestions?

   read that Macho Man Randy Savage's funeral arrangements will be handled by The Undertaker.

   Driving while snappin in to a slimjim is a bad idea....

   Macho Man died today. He is survived by his wife and their one son Koolaid Man.

   Remember Billy Gilman? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was Allison Krauss the whole time.

   R.I.P. "Macho Man" Randy Savage. I'll do a flying elbow drop from the foot of the bed to salute you!

   I wonder if anyone's going to organize a Slim Jim light vigil in honor of Randall Mario Poffo.

   RIP Macho Man. He must of had an early boarding pass for the rapture. You will be missed......

   The Macho Man is going to be the coolest and most badass Zombie.

   I lost my balance crawling into bed and leaned my head on the ceiling to prevent from falling over.

   Y couldn't judgement day begin on Monday!? why did it had to ruin my weekend!?

   Even if you are not a zombie tomorrow, I'm still going out of my way to smash your face

   Breaking News: It's now Rapture Day in Japan and nothing has happened so far. In related news: True believers starting to come up with excuses.

   getting my baseball bat and ninja sword ready for tomorrow

   If nothing happens tomorrow, I'm still bashing heads!

   How can Judgement day Saturday? I've not even finished building Skynet yet!