Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - I was shopping for condoms and she asked if I knew how to use them.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey status messages auto correct, stop tampering with my swear words, you mother forklift.
←Rate | 11-20-2011 23:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She got her looks from her mother.....she was a plastic surgeon
←Rate | 11-20-2011 11:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with having so many followers is that simple jokes are now beneath me. Like your mother.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 22:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember nobody's perfect...Cuz i'm sure even Mother Teresa blamed her fart on a kid or two...
←Rate | 11-13-2011 21:29 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't confuse fame with success. Kim Kardashian is one; Mother Teresa is the other.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 12:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 23:37 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Necessity is the mother of invention. The Kama Sutra was created because no one should have to "reach enlightenment" in missionary position.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 14:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just came back from a pleasure trip....itook my mother in-law to the airport!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 19:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother texted me "What does IDK, LY,& TTYL means? I answered: I don't know, love u, talk to you later. Mother: Ok I'll ask your sister
←Rate | 11-06-2011 18:24 by marcus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cop to a hooker: What would your mother do if she seen you out here doing this? Hooker: She'd kill me, this is her corner.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 06:32 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a lawyer and your mother-in-law were drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go watch TV or just have a drink?
←Rate | 10-30-2011 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow...Im sittin at work watchin the snow fall... Its friggin October! Mother Nature must of finally hit menopause.. That fridgid b!tch made it snow!! Bring fall back!!!
←Rate | 10-27-2011 19:42 by Seanathon Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f**k up!!!!
←Rate | 10-26-2011 23:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time the bully asks you for your lunch money, tell him you left it on his mother's dresser.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 18:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna be your murder consultant. Motherfucker Jones. How'd you get the nickname Motherfucker? When I was a kid I snuck into my mother's bedroom. I've heard enough. I snuck up behind her and then slipped my fingersinto her purse. Purse, he said purse.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 14:37 by mthfka jones Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking about calling child protective services on Mother Nature.
←Rate | 10-14-2011 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Growing up, my mother always used to say in a angry voice : jorje finish up your coffee....there are people in Africa sleeping.... jj
←Rate | 10-13-2011 08:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst thing that can ever happen to a hangover is a call from your mother.
←Rate | 10-08-2011 21:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My family's in the Iron and Steel buisness. My mother irons and my father steals.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 15:53 Comments (0)  




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