Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?(A} Almost Boobs {B} Barely there {C} Can't Complain! (D) Dang! (DD) Double Dang! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H)Help me, I've fallen and I can't g

   so happy it's finally Hump Day! Oh, and I'm pretty excited it's Wednesday too.

   skinny genes...

   ...reminds you that today is Administrative Professionals Day and Hump Day, but it is NOT Hump Your Administrative Assistant Day...

   I LOVE it when people that I don't like friend request me on Facebook, I feel like St. Peter --- DE-NIED! Ü

   thinks facebook needs a "who cares" button

   I know what Cinco de Mayo is, I just don't know when it is.

   I don't get drunk .. I get AWESOME!!

   At first, I was thinking of gifting my friend an iPad for his birthday, but on a second thought, I might just gift hm a magnifying glass for his iPhone...

   thinks life is unfair. So many rules; so little time to break them....

   The Washington Redskins: Where pro football players go to let there career die.

   Nickelback-Flash…..Why would Tiger Woods risk being seen at a Nickelback concert?......then again why would any guy risk being seen at a Nickelback concert?

   The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed..

   He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.....

   save your breath.... You'll need it to blow up your date!

   A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender" I'll have..........a beer." The bartender says" What's with the huge pause?" The bear shrugs and says "I was born with them".

   Do your Moobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?

   if Rambo had a gay son would his name be Rambutt?

   saw clash of the titans last night, my mother in law won the battle.

   Its my day to protect and Serve. Protecting the donuts and serving the coffee is my specialty.