Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Thanks to all my FB Friends, for once again, reminding me it's Friday. This is also FB Spring Cleaning Weekend. Time to remove all the apps, polls, fan pages, pictures and friends you just don't need or want anymore.

   thinks McDonald's should start selling a deep fried pickle covered in batter. They can call it the McDillDough.

   I feel sorry for Justin Bieber, everyone picks on her.

   There is a chalk outline being drawn around common sense, and most people cannot even identify the victim

   I really hope I live to see my funeral

   You know what they say,so I wont tell you

   heard that Tiger Woods just sent Jesse James a Thank You note... and a bottle of penecillen.

   People reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

   --- I hate farmers, the're always spreading sh*t

   I Dont Care If You're A Gangster, Pull Up Your Pants Please!

   dirty litte mind is on Active Duty today

   brought sexy back. I was charged a 10% restocking fee.

   £1|{3 0h m¥ 90Ð (4n ¥0µ $p34|{ 3n9£1$h

   MoooooooM tell Boredom to leave me the F#ck Alone!!!!!!

   Your mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed just to measure how long she slept.

   If I had a kid at 16 I'd get my A$$ whooped, not a TV show.

   have you ever slept so good you couldn't wait to do it again as soon as you woke up?

   turning japanese

   can't seem to remember to forget you

   Watagatapitusberry!