Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The iPad: protecting your data from embarrassing incidents.

   wondering if they call loacal area networks in Australia the LAN Down Under!!!!!

   Today Apple unveiled the new I-Pad. You know, for those days when your not feeling so fresh.

   hhhmmmmm the state of the union is on the B.E.T. network? I never saw that when Bush was in office.

   lost her virginity, but still has the box it came in.

   Midgets got 99 problems, but an inch ain't one.

   busy filling water balloons with fire hoses.

   Yo Mama is so fat! She uses an iPad as an iPhone.

   "never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard on and never, ever trust a fart." Jack Nicholson

   The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

   I just committed the perfect crime. I stopped paying my shrink. He took me to court. I pleaded insanity.

   A child is like a mosquito: when it stops making a noise,you know it's up to something.

   thought the iPad was for the iPod for Bostonians

   wonders....with the largest memory chip, if the iPad will be nicnamed the "MaxiPad."

   Free Snowmen outside.......some assembly required

   So far today I made only one mistake...I GOT OUT OF BED!!!

   thinking about eating right, exercising, and quitting all my bad habits. But then I would attract too much attention, and frankly, I like my privacy.

   You call it Gray Hair...I call it "Stress Highlights".

   it true when the Pillsbury Dough boy bends over you see doughnuts??

   i hate to love, I love to hate...