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all I know is that before I watched Miley Cyrus' performance at the VMA's, it didn't burn when I peed.
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08-26-2013 10:13 by
Michael
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Miley's a$$ is so flat it looks like a backwards cameltoe!!
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08-26-2013 10:44
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Taylor Swift seems like the kinda girl who would put her stuffed animals in another room when she has sex.
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09-08-2013 08:20
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Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate.
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07-28-2012 11:12 by
SuthernFukr
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I hope Adele and Eminem never date, can you imagine what their breakup albums would be like!
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08-01-2012 01:38 by
Abraham Lincoln
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Bought one of those tennis racket looking bug zappers today. My god, where have you been all my life. What fun! Oooh, here comes the dog....
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08-02-2012 14:20 by
Daveb1191
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I could probably beat Usain Bolt if we were both trying to get the last ice cream sandwich.
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08-09-2012 09:53 by
flinnie
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Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they're dead.
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08-12-2012 16:25 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm so hungry I could drink 5 more beers.
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08-14-2012 19:35 by
Aaron
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I'm single by choice. Not MY choice. But it's still a choice
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08-21-2012 12:53
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You can stop lifting weights now; it's actually your personality that nobody likes.
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08-27-2012 00:17 by
fadolo
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if Da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20125215-00854.jpg"
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01-11-2013 12:23 by
Doc Noland
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If anything the Lance Armstrong confession confirms my belief that exercise leads to deceitful behavior.
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01-15-2013 06:43 by
sully
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Wouldn't it be great to hear a priest say "been there, done that" in reply to your confessed sins?
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01-15-2013 21:17 by
BEGO
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Guys, if you are ever watching 'Indecent Proposal' and your wife or girlfriend asks: "Would you let someone sleep with me for $1,000,000?" Just lie!!
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01-18-2013 19:04 by
urboyblue
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Understanding women is easy, too: Just take calculus, multiply by quantum physics, then divide by E=mc². Also, hold them when they cry. Boom.
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01-19-2013 12:44
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I've tried everything to get to sleep. Well, except that thing where you shut off your phone and close your eyes, but let's not get crazy.
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01-19-2013 13:26 by
Kisstopher
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the NFL aka No F***in Lights."
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02-03-2013 20:49 by
Dylan Bosch
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I have a question. How is it that the man who wasn't good enough to wed your daughter, can somehow be the father of the smartest grandchildren in the world?
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02-08-2013 08:08 by
MTQ
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We all have that place we go to that is full of negatives and disappointment. Mine sadly is my checkbook.
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09-14-2012 13:32
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