Eddy Funny Status Messages

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Page: 7 of 14

   messageicon a lot of single women claim they're looking for "Mr. Right" so maybe I should change my last name to "Right"......then all these women will be wanting me
←Rate | 04-15-2014 00:34 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's not "stalking" .....it's "starting a secret fan club that only has 1 member"
←Rate | 04-14-2014 21:28 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Easter is coming up soon. the parents with multiple kids are kinda lucky......you'll have more than 1 chocolate bunny in the refrigerator & we know they like to reproduce.....never-ending supply of chocolate
←Rate | 04-10-2014 23:51 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if someone else is in the picture with you why do some people still call it a "selfie"?....that's a "groupie"
←Rate | 03-31-2014 02:59 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon why does the drive-thru ATM have braille?....what blind person is driving a car?
←Rate | 03-29-2014 13:32 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon redneck version of ChromeBook ....go to the library & get a book....wrap duct tape all over the covers....you chromed your book
←Rate | 03-26-2014 14:47 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon just call me "Mario" cause I've been looking & looking & cant seem to find a woman either #Nintendo
←Rate | 03-24-2014 16:07 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Haley Joel Osment should guest star on The Walking Dead one episode..... "I see dead people"
←Rate | 03-21-2014 23:16 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon whats the difference between a plane & in-laws? the whole world is worried about a plane when it's missing
←Rate | 03-17-2014 03:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon a friend's kid accidentally stuck their cat in the dryer. my friend was all sad about it so I sung the sad song....soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.....the song didn't help at all
←Rate | 03-09-2014 23:45 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing Mario & entering the castle.... of course I got a girl on Friday night....forever alone
←Rate | 03-07-2014 21:39 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon for Lent I'm giving up relationships...oh, nevermind, they gave up on me already
←Rate | 03-07-2014 20:21 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon forget Mardi Gras....for me every Tuesday is a fat Tuesday
←Rate | 03-04-2014 20:57 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon an earthquake on valentines night....somewhere someone thinks they were great in bed to their lover for a perfect ending on the holiday
←Rate | 02-14-2014 23:24 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon my valentine is Manti Te'o's old girlfriend....forever alone
←Rate | 02-13-2014 23:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single Awareness Day....this is going to be a S.A.D. day
←Rate | 02-13-2014 23:45 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wont be alone on valentines day....I'll be spending it with 127.0.0.1
←Rate | 02-11-2014 22:19 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon these neighbors shooting their guns off, you'd think a lot of people just died in The Hunger Games cause the gun sounds kinda like the cannon sound in the movie
←Rate | 01-01-2014 00:13 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon since New Years is on a hump day (Wednesday) maybe this will be the year I get a lo of humping
←Rate | 12-31-2013 22:30 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon new way for a woman to get even with her ex....take his credit card & go on a shopping spree at target
←Rate | 12-23-2013 23:42 by Eddy Comments (2)  



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