Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.....
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the way you laugh....mostly because your boobs jiggle when you do :)
←Rate | 09-25-2010 14:08 by @TeeWuu86 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm waiting for the day Ziploc quits the pretentiousness with the sandwiches and just starts putting weed right on the box.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 21:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly!
←Rate | 05-12-2010 12:54 by BigMoney901 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was on snookies facebook and poked her. Now I need to get my facebook checked for herpes.
←Rate | 01-01-2011 18:46 by will Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half ass jingler.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 17:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationship status: Just got screamed at for peeling the carrots wrong.
←Rate | 09-14-2014 18:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's great that they're searching for Amelia Earhart again,, But I think we've got to brace these people,, there's a good chace she's not alive
←Rate | 08-18-2012 10:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon For your information, we'll be remembered as the generation who thought a fat Korean pretending to ride a horse was entertaining to look at.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 10:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 12:58 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon they call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by how much I like to crawl back under the covers in the morning I think I'd make a pretty awesome turtle.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 14:10 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you have an enemy mad at you...they will break your bones. But if you have a friend mad at you.... they will break your heart!!
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:16 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't remember someone's name then, ask them "what was your name again?" Out of instinct, they tel you their first name. Then say "Oh I knew that, I meant your last name!" And boom, you get the full name, and you're not rude. Double score.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 17:26 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever....
←Rate | 04-27-2012 10:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There aren't many things that I believe less in the world than than some tech support guy in India telling me his name is Jeff.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 10:11 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon some peoples relationship status should be "In a relationship with ___ while cheating with ___ and at the same time talking to ___"
←Rate | 01-31-2011 21:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say they give all politicains the Federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour....See how fast things change then!!!!
←Rate | 09-20-2011 10:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon i don't understand why people fly virgin airlines, why would you want to fly on an airlines that doesn't go all the way
←Rate | 09-20-2011 15:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still don't understand how finishing my food is going to save a starving child in Africa.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 22:34 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  



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