Funny Status Messages

   ever stand there, making a pot of coffee, look at the coffee grounds and consider doing a line or two of em just to jump start the day? Yep, it's that kinda day !!!

   Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.

   When you love someone you check and recheck and then check again to make sure it's them you're sending a text to.

   FYI: If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

   Thanks for "Checking In". Now I know the place to avoid.

   If you die in a manner that leaves your body unrecognizable they identify you by your dental records; if they don't know who you are, how in the world would they know who your dentist is?"

   can't seem to come up with anything clever this morning, apparently the voices in my head have decided to sleep in.

   thinks the NFL should stop giving complimentary cutlery sets to the players wives and girlfriends.

   The EPA has released that they are going to fine the United States Navy for dumping a piece of shot into the ocean

   People Dont Leave bad Companies, But they leave Bad Bosses

   You know you're country when you use a horse trailer to move.

   I honestly think that women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.

   You know what they say "Home is where you hang your enemies head."

   I guess what I'm proudest of is my ability to make the tough choices in hypothetical situations.

   Want to see Congress meet the budget deadline? Lion cages with doors set to release at 12AM. Lock all the doors. Watch the cooperation.

   wondering if the goverment shuts down does that mean we will no longer have to pay taxes?t

   I've been told I have a face for Photoshop.

   With all the technology now you'd figure power rangers would have better graphics....

   If anybody steals my identity, at least I'll know who to look for.

   I like you... People say I've got no taste, but I like you...