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If someone says "I'll get back to you"... it apparently means "I'm going to forget we had this conversation."
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03-11-2011 19:43 by
@The69Sheriff
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I was Home School Valedictorian!
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03-15-2011 19:21 by
eaglet1122
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If any of you heard a loud, painful scream followed by hysterical weeping, don't worry about it...That was just me at the gas pump filling up my car.
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03-23-2011 16:29
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I refuse to jump on the 'I hate Mondays' bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
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04-02-2011 22:36 by
Destiny
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Getting pretty stoked for all the Facebook albums of sh!tty firework pictures I'm gonna see next week!
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06-30-2011 19:35 by
jdpower
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Sometimes I wonder why I ever came to this Earth
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07-16-2011 17:00 by
Mahdi H
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I found out today that you could group your friends on Facebook and name the group whatever you want, however I didn't know it would send the people notifications saying that I added them to the, "People I've f*****.." group, sorry..
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07-23-2011 21:40 by
BEGO
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I'll never just put the seat down; the lid's going down with it. If I gotta work, so does she.
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08-03-2011 13:27 by
SuthernFukr
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In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage. They make it into television shows.
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01-27-2011 08:54 by
Will
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Don't dwell on your past, disappointments, or failures, you can't trip on something behind you.
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01-31-2011 22:23 by
Marshall the Great
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If the internet is the superhighway... Facebook is that bad accident backing up traffic for miles because everyone can't help staring at it.
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04-12-2011 20:37 by
Gman
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I don't know about y'all but every time I see that Direct TV commercial...I really want a miniature giraffe.
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04-13-2011 17:02 by
J. BIAZA
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I figured out a great way to pick up women. I painted my car to look like a taxi.
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04-15-2011 21:29 by
Gman
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Dear Dr. Phil, Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first. Sincerely, Dr. Pepper
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04-27-2011 10:47
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I can confidently say I'm 150 pounds of solid sexy. Plus 40-50 of squishy stuff.
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04-28-2011 13:33
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When you get pulled over for speeding say: "Two wrongs don't make a right officer. How fast did you have to go to catch up to me?"
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04-29-2011 21:03 by
Surge yarmolyuk
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Girl finds her prince, the bad guy gets killed, like we're living in a fairy tale this last week...
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05-02-2011 21:06 by
mm187
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Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
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05-10-2011 18:56
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I'm glad people don't talk the way they spell, text, or type.
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05-11-2011 11:01 by
Danmanz
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...remember when we were YOUNG and couldn't wait to grow up? ...WOW, what the hell were we thinking!?!?"
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05-11-2011 23:14 by
Dylan Bosch
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