Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

   Why worry about the world ending today, Its tommorow in Japan.

   Oh how winky faces make anything sound dirty (;

   When someone changes their relationship status to "It's complicated." it always means that they don't know which hand to use...

   If I offend you in any way, please let me know so I can do it again.

   Really hate how some of my friends try to fish for compliments with their posts that say "post one word that reminds you of me" I always post back, I can't think of one word, but there are two that really stand out to me.

   Don't worry about what other people think because they rarely ever do.

   I trust you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do tonight

   I got an idea for MTV....Film The Real world at my house....The real world, where your wallet is empty and your mailbox if full of bills!

   just because he knows he's smarter than you doesn't make him arrogant, just part of the majority

   Of course,men can multitask. They read on the toilet.

   You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

   - I am looking for my Valentine's Day Date on the Casual Encounters Section of Craigslist.

   - Of course, the great thing about tomorrow is that all of those heart shaped Russell Stover's and Whitman's sampler boxes will be 50% off.

   found out that they don't like you to wear roller skates in the mall! Or maybe they were mad cuz I didn't have pants on...not sure which one.

   can't seem to remember to forget you

   Censorship is █ very ██████ █████ in █████ ██████...

   Yes I know that "IMHO" means "In my humble opinion." In my humble opinion you are calling yourself a ho every time I read it.

   you have thousands of friends, but very little comments....What does that tell you?

   Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.