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I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they're alive?
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06-15-2010 20:16 by
Marshall the Great
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I saw a sign that said END ROAD WORK. I find it annoying too, but I don't think I would protest against it.
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06-16-2010 17:57 by
Joser
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Irony is people complaining about Facebook's privacy settings when every other update is about their weekly visit to their gynecologist.
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06-17-2010 19:51 by
Marshall the Great
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. WHY?
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06-19-2010 12:50
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Beware of the toes you step on today. They could be attached to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.
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12-13-2010 23:21
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Within every clean house is a room with a closed door containing a large pile of miscellaneous crap that someone just tossed in there.
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12-14-2010 21:33 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm not a geek, I just understand things you can't begin to comprehend.
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12-18-2010 12:59
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I don't jog for the same reason you don't see dump trucks running in the Indy 500...I know my limits.
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12-19-2010 22:11
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new years eve – one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early
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12-31-2010 08:20 by
B
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I hate when I can't understand what I'm eavesdropping on.
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01-12-2011 20:43 by
eavesdropping
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The one constant among all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers
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01-23-2011 12:28 by
evilpoptart18
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Dear Facebook, we asked for a 'dislike' button, not a confusing profile layout, or a smaller font size! Sincerely, Facebook User
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01-26-2011 06:17
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You think the glass is half empty. I just appreciate that I have some beer left in it.
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01-27-2011 06:53
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Old: Never take candy from strangers. New: Never click links from strangers.
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08-29-2010 06:03 by
MBH
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going to spend his cab money on more shots and just get an ambulance home
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09-11-2010 03:54
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talk is cheap, thats why everyone can afford it
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09-14-2010 12:43 by
@briscovery
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Google Instant is great, but I find it disturbing that "grannies doing young studs" pops up before I finish typing "granola."
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09-18-2010 20:33
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His next day off the kids get to pick where we get to go.... Please pick the liquor store... Please pick the liquor store.
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09-20-2010 02:08 by
Jayson1464
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I wish I had a room in my house that had zero gravity.
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09-20-2010 15:14
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Remember the first time you were ther leader of the line in kindergarten?........ That was the SHIZNITT!!!!
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09-23-2010 19:05 by
@TeeWuu86
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