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Why is it that melted cheese tastes like a zillion times better than regular cheese?
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03-23-2012 22:43 by
CJ
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eHarmony just said my only compatible match is a bottle of wine and a frozen pizza.
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03-24-2012 00:27
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When a woman puts on a low cut shirt, she's basically saying she wants to win all arguments for the day.
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03-26-2012 13:28 by
flinnie
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I do everything faster when I have to pee.
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03-27-2012 21:58 by
BEGO
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My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
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03-31-2012 15:21 by
Marshall the Great
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The only thing worse than girls going after the "Bad Boy" is today's perception of what a Bad Boy is.
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04-12-2012 20:00 by
BEGO
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Getting a hard-on is the only way I can get my wife to leave me alone.
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04-14-2012 10:47
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No matter what you do in life, Dont EVER! let the Kirby Vacuum Salesman into your house!!!
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11-18-2011 00:09
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Ever notice the fine print on car commercials? In big print it's "Starting at $18,995", and in fine print "As shown, $420,000"
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11-21-2011 19:28
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..Hey,,, Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his neighbor in the woods?
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11-24-2011 07:41 by
snotty
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I'm smiling on the outside because I have a rainbow of pills on the inside.
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12-02-2011 14:05 by
ff1241
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Whenever I see someone running in normal clothes, I immediately assume something is wrong.
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12-06-2011 21:09 by
BEGO
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It must have been very awkward for the guy who invented the tampon when he had to explain his invention to everyone else.
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12-14-2011 07:13 by
Czovczov
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And now stepping into the on- deck cirle, Lindsay Lohan.
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02-11-2012 22:56
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Who Is Paul McCartney? You see kids, before PC's & Auto-tune, there were these mythical creatures who could sing/play/write songs themselves!
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02-14-2012 10:39 by
SuthernFukr
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Hey toilette paper manufactures, you think you can make the last six sheets a courtesy red? Thanks
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02-18-2012 19:54 by
Goodeolboy
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That terrifying moment when your cat walks into the room, stares at something you can't see and runs away in a panic.
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02-29-2012 08:49 by
K-Mac
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When I sing with my headphones in I think, Why don't I have a record deal? Then I take them off and I know why.
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10-14-2011 22:39
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The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.
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10-15-2011 13:36
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that embarrassing moment; when you're yelling at someone, and you mess up a word.
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10-20-2011 12:20
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