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   messageicon Sleeping in could easily be my superpower. If not for my arch-nemesis, having to pee.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 12:37 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Life: Wake up, Survive, Sleep.
←Rate | 06-28-2012 22:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought we were gonna buy Mexico, Then fix it up & flip it... What ever happened with that?
←Rate | 07-01-2012 20:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMG!!! Direct TV is no longer showing Viacom channels... How am I going to watch 16 and Pregnant now? Oh.. wait.. Walmart. NEVERMIND!
←Rate | 07-11-2012 14:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to invite you to stop inviting me to like your page on facebook.
←Rate | 07-31-2013 18:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you'll still never get your own back.
←Rate | 08-13-2013 13:43 by PostMan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice that getting "suspended with pay" seems to only happen in government jobs
←Rate | 08-20-2013 13:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People Dont even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Ins tagram
←Rate | 09-04-2012 13:41 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a raccoon get hit by a Smart Car. The poor lil fella suffered a sprained ankle.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute
←Rate | 10-06-2012 11:02 by Smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Picking up a tiny piece of paper off the carpet would probably only take me one second... But for some reason I'd rather vacuum over it 100 times, at different angles...
←Rate | 10-16-2012 17:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am never more aware that I don't have boobs than when I'm paying for my own drink.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 10:09 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at "tubes tied"
←Rate | 10-20-2012 15:16 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Thanksgiving. Don't forget to set your scale forward 45 lbs. ahead.
←Rate | 11-22-2012 00:11 by Danmanz Comments (1)  


   messageicon I can already tell December 21st will be the most annoying day in Facebook history.
←Rate | 12-12-2012 20:57 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer.
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pandora: *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* runs out of skips.. *changes station*
←Rate | 08-26-2012 21:51 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm already an idiot, I just need a village
←Rate | 04-23-2013 08:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry, Pope Benedict XVI, I get it. Mondays make me want to quit my job too.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 08:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. she chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me she will never trust another human being again.
←Rate | 03-15-2013 20:48 by snotty Comments (0)  



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