Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Alt-Left + Alt-Right = DELETE I am an independent. Enough said... Go Home!!!

   It's so hot outside I attended a Virginia Neo-Nazi rally just to be next to something shady...

   If every day is a gift, today was socks.

   My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or destroy Slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave, I would do it. Any snowflake wanna explain what the civil war was about then?

   Tonight, because of the presidents speech, me and the family of 13 have now converted to democrats.

   I no longer question authority; I annoy authority. More fun, less effort.

   Pessimism is just an ugly word for pattern recognition.

   Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: To get to the Shell station.

   Maybe if you didn't act like thuggish and lazy pieces of crap there wouldn't be a problem

   It boggles the mind how most of you passionately supports the Neo-Nazis. Absolutely mind boggling.

   I once took a dump that was shaped like a pretzel. I $h!t you knot...

   As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me

   Adrenalin highs are my favorite, it helps me conserve my weed. . .

   : Let's do away with the electoral vote. And go by the actual voter's vote count to determine the winner of an election.

   : A cat never cries over spilled milk.

   internet dating... ~ welcome to the future ~

   : Scaramucci (n) a verry confident guy who doesn't last long.

   Here's a thought. Let's get up a petition to have CNN classifed as a Hate Group.

   If a Cop says, "Anything you say will be taken down and used as evidence" your answer should always be, "Please don't hit me again officer".

   One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.