Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando in your life.
Whenever my parents talk about "the good old days", they always seem to stop at 1990. Which is pretty cool, because that's also the year I was born... wait... what?
If I give you a card for any occasion know that there is a 97% chance I bought it 30 minutes before I gave it to you & then signed it while parked in your driveway.