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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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They just put in a ban of trick or treaters 25 years of age or older... looks like my halloween plans are now changing
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10-26-2010 19:55
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Religion is a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.
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10-26-2010 19:21
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Dear Me, You are the sexiest thing to walk this Earth! Love, Me
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10-26-2010 18:51 by
mmchet
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ever have one of those days when you wish you had the Cone of Silence so you could scream your lungs out without anyone hearing you after debating with a friend who is stuck on stupid?
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10-26-2010 18:18 by
Nebulith
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At my last job, I mixed concrete with a pitchfork.. Under job title on this application should I put ,,Mortar forker?
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10-26-2010 18:00
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Guess facebook is my woman because I wake up and say good morning and whats on my mind
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10-26-2010 17:37 by
@duranfly
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How do I explain to a coworker, that she is not a size 6…that EVERY pair of pants she wears she has a Camel Toe…and EVERYONE has noticed!
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10-26-2010 17:14 by
A is for ME
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wonders “Why its called a walkie talkie, yet a vacuum isn't called a pushy sucky???”
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10-26-2010 17:12 by
ANGELA
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My girlfriend has a weird fetish, she likes to dress up like herself and act like a b!tch every night.
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10-26-2010 17:11 by
A is for ME
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I just saw that Harry Potter movie. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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10-26-2010 17:08 by
A is for ME
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met this girl at the pub and she told me her ‘sex was on fire'. She lied. But ironically, now it burns when I piss.
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10-26-2010 17:08 by
A is for ME
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"The mistakes of the past don't define you... they refine you."
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10-26-2010 17:07 by
@chaseswills
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Worrying Is like a rocking chair, sure it gives you something to do but in the end, it gets you nowhere.
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10-26-2010 16:56 by
TOM
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Why does the day after payday feel just like the day before payday???
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10-26-2010 16:28
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I remember my first status...
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10-26-2010 16:27
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real eyes realize real lies
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10-26-2010 16:17
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Do me a favor..run your face into my fist really hard..
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10-26-2010 15:54
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I'll have what the guy on the floor is having.
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10-26-2010 15:50 by
Heather25
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I can't believe Google is c0cky enough to start guessing after one letter.
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10-26-2010 15:47 by
Aaron
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"I bet if he could do that, he wouldn't be telling me to stop."... thought the Dog.
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10-26-2010 15:43 by
Aaron
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