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Mike Pence's home State Republicans are delighted he's running for Vice President rather then re-election as Govenor because they're worried HE WOULD LOSE! 
Today's Lesson: Do not hula hoop without a bra on. That is all.
did primary voters even google "Clinton"?
The NRA says what happened in Nice, France cld have been stopped if everyone in the crowd also had a truck
Oxygen was discovered in 1772.... what did people breathe before then?
Just heard on the radio that former child star McCauley Culkin may soon get married for a second time...... I guess he was tired of being "Home Alone."
Can you do me a favor? Take a picture of yourself, and send it to me. I am playing cards and seem to be missing the Joker |♠|♣|♥|♦|
"1-800-Yankees." - My reply when someone at a store asks me to give them a phone number.
I bet if Bon Jovi could turn back time he wouldn't do those awful DirecTV commercials.
Right now at this very moment I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
ME: The plane has wifi? Sweet, I'm going to Skype call that radio psychic.... RADIO PSYCHIC: Go ahead caller, you're on the air...... ME: HOLY CRAP !?!
The dental hygienist asked if I have any concerns. So we talked for 20 minutes about how Kevin Durant will fit in with the Warriors.
... Seriously .... I really don't know when the giant UFO landed and dumped off all of these stupid people .... But one thing's for sure .... They ain't coming back for them!
Two words: Pokemon No
Went out with this really cute babe today .... Was really kinda disappointed when she took off her bra to find out it just full of Pokemon.
... Look .... I'm Sorry but if I see you walk into a fence or wall or see you fall into a pothole because you were looking for Pikachu ... I'm only gonna Laughachu!
Skip the next 20 pages, nothing worth stealing.
Stop checking my Status , Go and love your GF
Black Beatles Lives Matter. Black Eyed Peas Matter. Black Leather Jackets Matter. Now Black Off And Leave Me The F#ck Alone. . .
I'd love to watch Samuel L Jackson and Morgan Freeman get into a heated argument while James Earl Jones tries to stop them.
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