Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

   Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."

   Cruz chooses Billy Graham as VP, even though he might not be alive.

   Little Known Fact: The Golden Girls was originally titled Depends on Friends

   WOW,,,, my nana REALLY can't take a punch anymore

   It's 420 eve, remember to leave out milk and cookies for snoop dogg.

   If Hillary wins the POTUS, we'll all know what it's like to have a yeast infection because we will be dealing with an irritating c@%t every day.

   When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? asking for a friend

   Some @$$ hole licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward.

   My neighbor stopped me while I was mowing to brag about his new mower, I said thats all good and well but I still have a bigger deck...

   It's 4/20, remember to leave out milk and cookies for Snoop Dogg!

   Man, reality is relentless.

   Nothing better than imagining "Tubman's" raining down on strippers cheeks.

   Tubman to be on the $20, there is your reparations, now shut up.

   I ain't saying she's a gold digger but she has emphysema and is missing four fingers. Maybe she's a coal miner.

   Great green moon tonight for 420

   Always love April 21st as it's Random Drug Testing Day at work.

   I didn't know Harriet Tubman was a dead president?

   if you're a tailor and your shop's name isn't "Britches get stitches" then what's the point?

   Boss just announced he is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.