Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Mosquitos everywhere keeping it real by wishing everyone a Happy First Week of Spring. Remember us?

   The older you get, the more you appreciate being at home masterbating on a Tuesday night.

   People say cherry blossoms are beautiful. I see death by allergies. Achooooo!!!

   Dear Rappers, please stop putting police sirens in your songs. Sincerely, All Paranoid Drivers.

   Hitler should have done the world a favour and wiped out the towel heads instead.

   According to my husband, it's not a tickle fight until half my ribs are broken and I've sharted myself.

   Don't forget to judge others on the circumstances they can't control today.

   Thanks for the fecking blockbusters gift card granma.

   I ate too much Taco Bell......and ended up Islaming in my pants.

   Then stop blaming all gun owners for the actions of one.

   the Republican Presidential race sounds as substantial as Keeping up with the Kardashians.

   "Mannekin Pis on your bombs": an unlikely statue is now an icon of Belgian defiance.

   Or you could just reword a meme we all saw.

   Easter Pro Tip: Wrap up grapes in color foil and give them away as chocolate eggs to your family and friends.

   As an Easter present, wrap grapes in color foil and send a basket of them to the IRS.

   Clinton says "How high do you have to build a wall to keep out the internet?" She's nuts comparing the internet to illegal immigrants. God help us.

   I'd call you a p*ssy, but you don't have the depth or the warmth to live up to it.

   I suffer from a rare condition known as Aibohphobia, which is an unreasonable fear of palindromes.

   Clinton says "How high do you have to build a wall to keep out the internet?" I don't think she understands how the internet works, which is why she got in trouble with her emails.

   how are those refugees in Europe working out for you