Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Let's face it America, Bernie is an angry, wrinkly old man who wears wrinkled old suits.

   Picking a president to vote for this term is like picking the STD that I would be the most okay with having

   A world is supported by four things ... thelearning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the righteous and the valor of the brave. But all of these are as nothing ... without a ruler who knows the art of ruling. 

   ..... I used to laugh when somebody told me what the origin of the KKK was ..... until I actually looked it up. Turns out they were right .....

   I imagine that fish that are caught and released are the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.

   Can someone please post a picture of your breakfast for me.. to encourage me to get to make my own. . .

   Protip: Never mess with a man who leaves foam in a urinal.

   The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations for this Presdential election.

   Where was this Mitt Romney during the last general election? Had he been like this he would be running for re-election this time

   Some girls: "I hangout with guys, there's less drama." Guys: "I hangout with myself watching sports or Netflix. There's no drama and I don't have to wear pants."

   If Bruce Jenner can win Woman of the Year, I see no reason why Sarah Jessica Parker can't win the Kentucky Derby. Giddy up!!!

   Forget dancing like no one is watching. Dance like a toddler. They don't even care if there's music....

   I certainly hope the douche who stole my credit card enjoys his $14.03 shopping spree.

   Oscars so white, no fried chicken on the menu.

   She wants to go steady she says, it will be great she said. Until she said, tell me your pass words. Over my dead body I said. . .

   ..... I Dunno about Grizzlies Mr. Obama .... But I'm pretty sure Black Bears Matter ....

   Leonardo DiCaprio grows a beard ... wins an Oscar. Apparently it makes a difference.

   ..... Apparently Ben Carson did the best in tonight's Debate ....

   We are about two elections away from deciding President by monster truck rally or burping contest.

   dear america, this years election is your IQ test. Right now it doesnt look good ... -the world