Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 514 of 5577
The hardest thing you can hit people with is the truth.
44
8
←Rate |
04-04-2013 13:30
Comments (
0
)
You say you don't need to drink to have fun. All I'm hearing is designated driver.
44
8
←Rate |
04-09-2013 20:15
Comments (
0
)
The brain has around 100 billion neurons in it. Makes you think
44
8
←Rate |
09-10-2012 12:43 by
Aaron
Comments (
0
)
Kids, try dealing with bullies the way I did: Grow up to be smarter, wealthier and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook.
44
8
←Rate |
10-10-2012 22:19 by
BEGO
Comments (
0
)
It's called mankind because womanmean just sounded too obvious.
44
8
←Rate |
07-16-2013 12:14 by
Baddie
Comments (
0
)
I'd drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
44
8
←Rate |
08-23-2013 00:39
Comments (
1
)
Purposefully wearing white today. My level of badassery knows no bounds!
44
8
←Rate |
09-03-2013 12:16
Comments (
0
)
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
44
8
←Rate |
09-10-2013 14:38 by
Baddie
Comments (
0
)
Women are weird. Hundreds of people can tell them they're beautiful but they'll obsess over the one person that doesn't.
44
8
←Rate |
01-05-2013 04:52
Comments (
0
)
Two things you should never do to a woman is lie to them and be completely honest with them.
44
8
←Rate |
01-11-2013 11:38 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
You, my friend, deserve a high-five... that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
44
8
←Rate |
01-30-2013 11:40 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Sometimes you have to accept that the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you.
44
8
←Rate |
02-03-2013 12:30 by
@zubindalal1
Comments (
0
)
To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought, "You know, I bet I could make some kind of hot drink out of these things."... I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH.
44
8
←Rate |
02-06-2013 06:55
Comments (
0
)
Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank.... I have no words right now to describe how angry I am
44
8
←Rate |
02-10-2013 14:33 by
snotty
Comments (
0
)
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
44
8
←Rate |
04-15-2013 12:50
Comments (
0
)
"Haven't had to use my brakes in a few minutes. Better make sure they still work real quick." - everyone in front of you on the highway.
44
8
←Rate |
04-18-2013 06:15 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
It should be made legal to strangle people to death who ruin Facebook wallposts because they didn't get the sarcasm so post a serious reply.
44
8
←Rate |
04-20-2013 13:50
Comments (
0
)
There's a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email.
44
8
←Rate |
04-23-2013 13:19
Comments (
0
)
Just slipped in the shower and accidentally made a new Lil Wayne song.
44
8
←Rate |
05-06-2013 01:00
Comments (
0
)
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won't notice, but, buy a new phone case...
44
8
←Rate |
05-08-2013 09:20
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com