Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon a wheelchair is just grocery cart to a cannibal
←Rate | 11-16-2015 12:15 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon [being pushed into the middle of a dance circle] please, I have a family
←Rate | 11-16-2015 12:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Went grocery shopping hungry. Left with 3 cases of beer and a bag of pretzels.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 12:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm creative. *creates problems*
←Rate | 11-16-2015 12:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My buddy told me he was having sex with twins... I asked how do you tell them apart? He said, "Her brother has a mustache"
←Rate | 11-16-2015 14:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well apparently the Tiger Blood that Charlie Sheen has running through his vains came from the same hooker that Magic Johnson was boning.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 14:59 by John Y Comments (0)  

   messageicon I dropped out of college after my sophomore year so I get it half marathon runners.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 15:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well apparently its not Tiger Blood that Charlie Sheen has running through his veins.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 16:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What's Obama's secret plan towards getting rid of ISIS in the middle East? .... Bringing them here.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 17:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If there were only some way I could change my profile pic here on Facebook with minimal effort on my part and a simple click of a button that shows I support a good cause.....Someone needs to get on this.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 19:04 by TimmyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey NASA guys... Wanna be a hero? Take one of your super telescopes and turn it on Syria ...If you can find water on Mars,. we should be able to find low brained jerks anywhere...
←Rate | 11-16-2015 20:31 by Yvon Guignard Comments (0)  

   messageicon Finding out Charlie Sheen tested positive for HIV is like finding out Bob Marley tested positive for marijuana.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 20:40 by CrackY Comments (0)  

   messageicon So you can catch HIV from being in Two and a Half Men
←Rate | 11-16-2015 21:55 by Jeff W Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing says clinically insane quite like having Multiple Facebook Accounts.
←Rate | 11-17-2015 00:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
←Rate | 11-17-2015 00:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I do not know what "high fives" are but I've become more and more proficient at blocking these overhead strikes you're trying to hit me with
←Rate | 11-17-2015 00:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 15 km run 50 laps of the pool yoga on the beach fresh fruit salad all before 6:30am is what fit healthy people like to do Me : I'm just waiting for the all you can eat buffet breakfast to consume copious amounts of bacon.... ** Your body is a temple **
←Rate | 11-17-2015 00:37 by Paul Taylor Comments (0)  

   messageicon I changed my FB profile pic for the France flag. Terrorism defeated.
←Rate | 11-17-2015 07:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Finally something positive about Charlie Sheen...
←Rate | 11-17-2015 10:11 by eengrms Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never mess with someone who has access to your toothbrush.
←Rate | 11-17-2015 11:21 by Nipper Comments (0)  

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