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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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What happens when you solve a Rubik's cube? Does it explode into Skittles or am I wasting my time?
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12-06-2015 10:09
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If Bill Cosby were black he'd be in jail by now.
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12-06-2015 10:10
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I'll believe Jimmy Carter's brain cancer is gone when I hear it from someone who doesn't have brain cancer.
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12-06-2015 13:54
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pulled my groin playing reindeer games!
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12-06-2015 16:17 by
flipphonescott
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Different set of tracks. Same old train wreck.
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12-06-2015 18:41 by
snotty
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Hey, parents of an ONLY child considering having one more,, know that I just split an M&M in half........ An M&M...... in HALF
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12-06-2015 18:44 by
snotty
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Don't forget to wear your best clothes to church because Jesus was all about one-upping your neighbour with fancier duds.
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12-06-2015 18:54 by
snotty
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I'm starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
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12-06-2015 19:24 by
snotty
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OMG .... this is the Last Time I invite Frosty the Snowman to one of my Parties ............. all he has done all Night is Mess with the Damn Thermostat ...... who does that?!
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12-06-2015 19:25
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Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
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12-06-2015 19:26
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Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
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12-06-2015 19:26
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When I was a kid, We were so poor the floor wasn't even lava,,, it was just kinda warm
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12-06-2015 19:29 by
snotty
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You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
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12-06-2015 19:33
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The IBS drug commercial that mentions "urgent diarrhea" implies there's also a laid back, non-urgent form of diarrhea that I've never had?.... IDK
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12-06-2015 19:36 by
snotty
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The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
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12-06-2015 19:37
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Anyone else see the ISIL talking about ISIL
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12-06-2015 20:12
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Don't waste my time. That's my job.
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12-07-2015 03:04
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So I already have ADHD but I'm thinking on upgrading to ADHD 4K - it will be even more clear that I'm not paying attention to stuff
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12-07-2015 06:28 by
Gduck
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When I was a kid my family was so poor that if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have and ANYTHING to play with.
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12-07-2015 07:50
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If one of Santa's helpers takes a picture of himself with his cell phone, is it called an "elfie"?
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12-07-2015 07:50
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