Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
What happens when you solve a Rubik's cube? Does it explode into Skittles or am I wasting my time? 
If Bill Cosby were black he'd be in jail by now.
I'll believe Jimmy Carter's brain cancer is gone when I hear it from someone who doesn't have brain cancer.
pulled my groin playing reindeer games!
Different set of tracks. Same old train wreck.
Hey, parents of an ONLY child considering having one more,, know that I just split an M&M in half........ An M&M...... in HALF
Don't forget to wear your best clothes to church because Jesus was all about one-upping your neighbour with fancier duds.
I'm starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
OMG .... this is the Last Time I invite Frosty the Snowman to one of my Parties ............. all he has done all Night is Mess with the Damn Thermostat ...... who does that?!
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
When I was a kid, We were so poor the floor wasn't even lava,,, it was just kinda warm
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
The IBS drug commercial that mentions "urgent diarrhea" implies there's also a laid back, non-urgent form of diarrhea that I've never had?.... IDK
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Anyone else see the ISIL talking about ISIL
Don't waste my time. That's my job.
So I already have ADHD but I'm thinking on upgrading to ADHD 4K - it will be even more clear that I'm not paying attention to stuff
When I was a kid my family was so poor that if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have and ANYTHING to play with.
If one of Santa's helpers takes a picture of himself with his cell phone, is it called an "elfie"?