Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I knew I had nailed it when she said she didn't remember seeing me do my Bill Cosby impersonation.... or anything else that night.
←Rate | 12-14-2015 20:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pill Cosby is now suing his victims? What kind of a sick world are we living in now?
←Rate | 12-14-2015 22:51 Comments (3)  

   messageicon Shouldn't you be camping out somewhere waiting for Star Wars?
←Rate | 12-14-2015 23:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Meanwhile, Woody Allen has married his adopted daughter and still makes movies. DuPont heir Robert Richards rapes his 3 year old and serves no jail time. Roman Polanski raped a 13year old and left the country while on bail yet he STILL receives awards
←Rate | 12-14-2015 23:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dating 101: Let me buy you food and grab your booty
←Rate | 12-14-2015 23:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I had a My Little Pony for every time a girl rejected me I'd have the My Little Pony collection I currently have.
←Rate | 12-15-2015 00:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
←Rate | 12-15-2015 00:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You make me want to be a better nobody.
←Rate | 12-15-2015 00:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
←Rate | 12-15-2015 06:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon to wife: I told you I would fix it soon, there is no need to remind me every six months!!!
←Rate | 12-15-2015 08:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll bet when Godzilla first came out, God was like "Damn, that name's way cooler..."
←Rate | 12-15-2015 09:18 by eengrms Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear History Channel, The Mayans were wrong.. We are not dead.. Everybody is still here. Please adjust your morning programing accordingly..
←Rate | 12-15-2015 09:32 by timboss Comments (0)  

   messageicon Statistically men think about sex every seven minutes… for about six minutes
←Rate | 12-15-2015 10:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This LAUSD situation reminds me of Die Hard 3. LA better watch the the financial district and lots of dumb trucks
←Rate | 12-15-2015 11:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why did Adele cross the street? To say hello from other side
←Rate | 12-15-2015 11:43 by T-Dub Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you put Isis and my ex gf together all you going to see is pure evil
←Rate | 12-15-2015 15:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know who hates Nine Inch Nails? Jesus.
←Rate | 12-16-2015 07:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
←Rate | 12-16-2015 07:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I remember a happier time… Like when I was still sleeping.
←Rate | 12-16-2015 07:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just heard someone on the porch, hopefully this is just a home invasion and not some unexpected company
←Rate | 12-16-2015 08:25 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

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