Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dogs: This homework looks hard....Do you want me to eat it?
←Rate | 02-10-2016 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Females are simple bro: With them, Yes means Yes, & No means Yes, & No means No, & No means Maybe, but Maybe means Yes, and Maybe means No.....
←Rate | 02-10-2016 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I'll kill you.
←Rate | 02-10-2016 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been a HUGE fan of Bernie Sanders ever since he and Marty McFly went Back To The Future!
←Rate | 02-10-2016 18:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My super power is making conversations awkward by constantly adjusting my nuts while you talk.
←Rate | 02-10-2016 19:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "PLAY FREE BIRD!" -Me, drunk, at the Symphony
←Rate | 02-10-2016 20:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your refund is more than you paid in taxes. You aren't getting YOUR TAXES back. You're getting MY TAXES back.
←Rate | 02-10-2016 22:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ♥ LOL JK, I have to pee.
←Rate | 02-10-2016 22:36 by Shoot2Thrill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year my wife and I will be celebrating... "Discount chocolate ovedose Monday....."
←Rate | 02-11-2016 01:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Madonna is 57, her boyfriend is 24. Tina Turner is 77, her boyfriend is 42. J Lo is 46, her boyfriend is 28. Still single? Relax, your boyfriend isn't even born yet.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 05:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found my coffee in the microwave for the 7th time today.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 05:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Each month has an average of 30-31 days....except the last month of pregnancy, which has 1453 days.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 05:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bikini season is just around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the taco food truck.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 05:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to be happy on Valentines Day: Don't expect a goddamn thing from anyone.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 05:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inspirational Quote For Today: Drink some coffee, put on some gangster rap and handle it.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 05:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say money doesn't being you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....
←Rate | 02-11-2016 05:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's get rid of Valentines Day and replace it with a second Halloween.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 06:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men: I don't always scream like a little girl. But when I do, it's because my wife just put her cold, undead feet on my body.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 06:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 06:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 06:09 Comments (0)  



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