Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dear Wasted Drunk girls... We get it. This is your song...
←Rate | 08-17-2015 18:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why can't we $hit like dogs, I'm tired of wiping my @ss......
←Rate | 08-17-2015 19:02 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon A group of mistakes is called a life......... next question
←Rate | 08-17-2015 19:09 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon A good way to revoke Bill Cosby's medal of freedom would be to slip him drugs and then take it while he's unconscious...... next question
←Rate | 08-17-2015 19:21 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you urinate in a pair of swim goggles and strap them to your face you won't need Instagram anymore....... next question
←Rate | 08-17-2015 19:26 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I eat a powdered donut, I try not to look like I just left Charlie Sheen's house.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 23:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's easy to pick out Charlie Sheen's kid in school. He's the only kid who crushes and snorts his Flintstone's chewable vitamins.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 23:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 01:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I once had the best job in the world.. I'll I was mandated to do was homework and be home before the street lights.. Best benefits ever
←Rate | 08-18-2015 03:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you are not naked you're not feeling the vibe today
←Rate | 08-18-2015 11:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girl logic: If I just ignore him he'll leave me alone. Guy logic: She hasn't told me to f*ck off yet so she must be interested.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 11:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon News just in: Hillary's private email server was located in a restroom. Clinton vows to get to the bottom of this.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 13:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Amid new revelations that Hillary's private email server was located in a restroom, investigation is underway how it was wiped clean.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 13:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To the 42 friends that are currently available to chat at 3:11 in the afternoon... Get a job you losers! Oh, wait...
←Rate | 08-18-2015 15:13 by John Y Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do these celebrities actually expect us to believe they're using boxed DIY hair color? Please....
←Rate | 08-18-2015 15:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I think of you I touch myself. On my temples. You give me a migraine.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 18:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing that gets turned on when I get naked is the shower.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 22:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've had this ant farm for a year now and these lazy bastids still haven't grown any crops.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 22:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm 0-11 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 22:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon During fireworks is the best time to shoot someone.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 22:55 Comments (0)  

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