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Me and my 2 friends can satisfy any women...Yup me and my good friend VISA and M/C... 
I saw 2 people lost in front of the Garmin Store
someone accused me of being patronizing! that means I treat people like their stupid.
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise...
I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set.
thinks his facebook has been hacked! I'm going to change my password to: titus_b12bomberraid.. That oughta do the trick!
if I mad 9.9 million dollars a year,.. a b*tch wouldn't be my problem either."
Biggest trade to date: Lakers to trade Jack Nicholson
Whats the difference between arrogant and ignorant? Brithish and Welsh
The Makers of K-2 has just come out with another break through synthetic, called J-2. Its Synthetic Jesus in incense form. No need to go to church now, you are automatically saved from hell fire and damnation! Side effects may include speaking in tongues.
A great way to start my day, I got a speeding ticket on my way to work & got written up for getting late...
95% of People who say, "Study! Study! Study!" during finals week are actually reading...Too bad they don't realize Facebook is not actually a book.....
Better to have people think you are an idiot then opening your mouth and proving them right
I think, therefore I thought.
Whoever says that pizza is not good for you is sooo wrong. You can actually get every single food group into a single slice. You can't say that about much else.
"I'm sorry"~Reggie Bush
Your Skin Is Pale White and you dont go out in the sun. Say it,Vampire. No I just play a lot of world of warcraft.
shopping for halloween costumes with Tera Patrick.
dressing as pac-man and chasing people in burka's.
Thinks it's good to see some of the women at work growing a movember too. 