Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
←Rate | 01-12-2015 05:44 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Top Gun was so unrealistic,,, Everyone knows Tom Cruise can't reach the clutch on a motorcycle.
←Rate | 11-18-2013 07:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Same sex marriage? Hell, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
←Rate | 06-28-2015 17:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now i'm going to a different cafe.
←Rate | 08-12-2015 07:17 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think we should line up all the presidential candidates and see which one a dog doesn't bark at. That person should become president.
←Rate | 01-26-2016 13:49 by Nipper Comments (3)  


   messageicon Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
←Rate | 07-18-2014 03:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon CEO of Apple Tim Cook annouces he's gay... Awaiting Samsung press conference announcing that they're waayyyyy more gay
←Rate | 10-30-2014 12:21 by @GETSQUAREDUP Comments (2)  


   messageicon it just me? Or are the three finalists at the end of Funniest Home Videos never the funniest?
←Rate | 01-17-2012 07:20 by Timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be funny to make your facebook status "OMG IT ACTUALLY WORKS" and then 5 minutes later make another facebook status that says "Well, I'm gonna test out this time machine",
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can learn a lot about a woman from the top dresser drawer beside her bed....
←Rate | 11-07-2011 12:43 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could really use one of those Chris Farley,, 'down by the river',, speeches right about now...
←Rate | 06-04-2012 20:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.
←Rate | 06-13-2012 22:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing like celebrating America's independence by spending hundreds of dollars on Chinese fireworks.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 22:47 by BEGO Comments (2)  


   messageicon RANDOM FACT: Having eye contact for more than 6 seconds without looking away or blinking reveals a desire for either sex or murder.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 14:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 11:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every meal I didn't have to cook myself,, is the best meal I've ever had.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 20:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Irony = Someone posting a status about how broke they are and at the bottom of their post it says: 8 minutes ago via iPad2
←Rate | 03-31-2012 14:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 19:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you didn't make one corner of an old metal swing set pop up in the backyard, you sucked growing up!
←Rate | 04-11-2012 09:58 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon How in the hell do people spell your name wrong on facebook when it's right in front of them?!
←Rate | 04-14-2012 14:48 Comments (0)  



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