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   messageicon Lots of people out sick today. There's that new virus going around-- Unused Sick Days, apparently it's very contagious.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 06:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever my son asks me to push him on the swing I remind him there's kids his age in China making iPhones.
←Rate | 08-02-2013 12:14 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever one office door closes, 50 browser windows open.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 14:57 by Sozzle Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.
←Rate | 08-22-2011 09:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever noticed that Velma(from Scooby-Doo) only says who the bad guy is after she pulls off their mask. And then conveniently knew it was him or her all along.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the caller I.D. reads "unavailable" then so am I.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "A day without a nap is like a cupcake without frosting." -Terri Guillemets
←Rate | 04-24-2011 20:05 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms
←Rate | 02-12-2011 17:09 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't like people who can't make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
←Rate | 02-15-2011 11:54 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon Things you can say when you have nothing to say: 1. It is what it is 2. It's just not meant to be 3. Everything happens for a reason 4. Word
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon LOVE putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 08:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have 2 missed calls from my mother. I think it's safe to say that by now there's a rescue team out there looking for me.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the economy......The 5 second rule has been upgraded to the 10 second rule. We just can't afford to be throwing away food....
←Rate | 01-30-2012 20:28 by Oregon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, people who have those long ass names on FB like, "Kiesha HatersGonnaHateButI'mJustGonnaKeepOnBeingaBoss Jenkins," CUT THAT SHlT OUT!
←Rate | 02-02-2012 14:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm using my hand, But I'm thinking of you.
←Rate | 02-14-2012 11:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you wear a NORTHFACE Jacket ? You must go on sooo many adventures......
←Rate | 02-25-2012 18:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to 'Problem solved.'
←Rate | 03-04-2012 14:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a Poptart that hasn't had time to properly cool off.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 10:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When things don't add up in your life, start subtracting.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 13:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be a mandatory day on facebook where everyone must turn off their spell-checker so we can weed out the retards.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 20:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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