Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 438 of 5577
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
39
7
←Rate |
02-23-2013 18:05
Comments (
0
)
I really don't understand how a dog can eat it's own vomit, lick his own butt, eat all his shi t and be fine and then they eat half a candy bar and die.
39
7
←Rate |
03-02-2013 02:01
Comments (
1
)
I don't like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I'm leaving!
39
7
←Rate |
03-04-2013 12:20 by
equaloppjoker
Comments (
0
)
I think it's safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
39
7
←Rate |
03-05-2013 12:44 by
snotty
Comments (
0
)
Hey person calling from a blocked number, I'm not answering...... Ever.
39
7
←Rate |
03-30-2013 11:56 by
snotty
Comments (
0
)
FACT: that dog can walk on its own, professional dog walkers. What it can't do is pick up it's own poop. You're just a professional poop collector.
39
7
←Rate |
04-30-2013 06:20 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I wish people who say "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" would stay in Vegas.
39
7
←Rate |
05-16-2013 07:37
Comments (
0
)
Hey white p eople with dreads - that's quite enough of that.
39
7
←Rate |
06-01-2013 12:26
Comments (
0
)
So I heard if I needed to reach the NSA directly I can just dial any number?
39
7
←Rate |
06-11-2013 00:38 by
Zt.Neumy
Comments (
0
)
I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check Facebook from somewhere else.
39
7
←Rate |
06-15-2013 16:03 by
Baddie
Comments (
0
)
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
39
7
←Rate |
06-19-2013 07:41
Comments (
0
)
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
39
7
←Rate |
06-20-2013 10:13 by
Aaron
Comments (
0
)
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can't wait to show them to my wife!!
39
7
←Rate |
06-24-2013 10:59
Comments (
0
)
A spider crawled across my leg while I was driving and of course he survived the crash.
39
7
←Rate |
07-23-2012 14:11
Comments (
0
)
I'm shy at first, but once I'm comfortable with you get ready for some crazy s$it.
39
7
←Rate |
07-24-2012 22:18 by
BEGO
Comments (
0
)
I'm starting to think the Jackson family might have some problems.
39
7
←Rate |
07-30-2012 16:18 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
The world is made up of kids who can't wait to grow up...and adults who wish they hadn't.
39
7
←Rate |
08-06-2012 22:34 by
BEGO
Comments (
0
)
Uh-oh. My guardian angel just enrolled in the witness protection program.
39
7
←Rate |
08-12-2012 13:00 by
minnie haha
Comments (
0
)
I do this thing where I suddenly become visible to people only when they need me.
39
7
←Rate |
08-18-2012 13:44
Comments (
0
)
If I wasn't so addicted to food and shelter I would quit this lousy job.
39
7
←Rate |
08-30-2012 10:45
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com