snotty Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Can you even imagine how long the Carfax report is on the Batmobile
←Rate | 10-12-2013 14:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: You can put a baseball card between the spokes on a Prius, and make it sound like a real car
←Rate | 10-12-2013 15:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just won an award for being lazy,,,It even came with atrophy
←Rate | 04-11-2012 07:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hope I never go to jail,, because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2003.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 22:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert
←Rate | 10-17-2012 22:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's now a Taco Bell taco with a shell made out of Doritos?,, Hmmm, It seems that our junk foods have started hunting each other.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 17:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
←Rate | 08-11-2016 18:22 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon By show of hands, who's been fooled 3 times and not known who to blame?
←Rate | 12-05-2014 07:46 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your car took up two spaces,, So I tried to move it over with my key.
←Rate | 04-28-2015 23:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask ,, " Notice anything different?'................. * works EVERY time
←Rate | 04-24-2014 10:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twenty percent of all relationships fail because someone buys a selfie stick.
←Rate | 09-27-2015 19:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I already want to take a nap tomorrow
←Rate | 05-03-2012 15:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.. Please don't buy it.
←Rate | 04-26-2012 06:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think "Don't Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 18:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just paid 2 dollars in quarters to put air in my tire... This inflation is out of control.
←Rate | 12-14-2012 18:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only 10 days until Facebook is stacked with return to the gym statuses and pictures of salads.
←Rate | 12-28-2012 16:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they're flying too close together?
←Rate | 03-27-2014 08:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: If you post a pic of the temperature in your car on Facebook the University of Phoenix will email you a Meteorology degree.
←Rate | 03-25-2015 13:08 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tuesday on 'Ancient Hoarders' - A concerned Jerusalem couple fights to save their son Noah from his spiraling animal collection.
←Rate | 11-11-2012 14:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer...
←Rate | 04-15-2012 15:15 by snotty Comments (0)  



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