snotty Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I have a black belt in leather
←Rate | 12-18-2012 11:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love something,, let it go..... That's EXACTLY what I've done with my body....
←Rate | 09-30-2012 17:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
←Rate | 08-17-2014 20:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
←Rate | 09-24-2015 06:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's a sombrero on my doorknob it means I'm in my room eating nachos and don't want to share.
←Rate | 11-12-2014 17:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn't it?
←Rate | 03-27-2012 07:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wearing my pajamas and buying booze at 10 am on a Tuesday…Yeah,,I probably don't need a receipt
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all lose if CBS doesn't film the next Survivor aboard a Carnival Cruise Ship.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 22:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is unfair that girls mature faster than boys. Girls get their boobs at 13,, and men get their boobs when they're in their 40's
←Rate | 09-05-2012 08:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's ok if you don't like my personality,,, I've got others.
←Rate | 12-14-2012 20:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a rat,,, I wouldn't give anyone my ass.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 16:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think,,, 20 years ago my television set weighed 350lbs.. And my wife weighed 105lbs ...
←Rate | 07-07-2012 13:40 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my facebook account in three days... But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave
←Rate | 10-21-2012 09:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?,,,,, Good times........ Good times
←Rate | 07-12-2013 09:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m the world record holder for the most arguments won against a woman................................................. 1 to be exact
←Rate | 02-20-2013 18:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: Make tomorrow's colonoscopy special by eating all of this glitter!
←Rate | 04-11-2015 16:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon [wakes up from a 20 year coma]. Sweet,,, X-Files still goin strong
←Rate | 01-27-2016 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Show me on the doll where gas prices touched you.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 14:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
←Rate | 04-21-2012 08:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, YOU'LL FIND SOME WAY TO BLAME ME FOR THAT TOO, WON'T YOU, SUSAN?
←Rate | 04-16-2012 07:07 by snotty Comments (0)  



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