Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
If Facebook ever shut down, you'd see people aimlessly walking round streets, scribbling on walls, poking each other, searching for their friends, thumbs-upping and commenting at everything they see and damn tagging one another. 
Just to let you know, I'm never gonna let you forget how you believed that a secret cabal of Satan-worshipping, cannibalistic pedophiles was running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotted against our country. Seriously, what were you smoking????
Drink triple, see double, act single ;)
annoying tip #27:when going on a nature walk with your wife, make sure the shovel fits in the backpack.
Nurses know Vicks Vapo Rub helps when you hear a minor cough, Robitussin helps when you hear a hoarse cough, and Mucinex helps when you hear a congested cough. Sadly no one knows what will help you when you hear a Fuh Cough.
If it wasn't for professional wrestling the companies that make metal trash cans would go out of business
You want to know who's amazing and got that cutest smile ever? Read the first word again :D
Happy Tuesday ❤═════❤JUNE 21st ❤═════❤the Longest Day of the Year✿◠‿◠) Hope you are having an amazing day✿◠‿◠)
Who stopped payment on my reality check?
if Casey Anthony didn't pay her taxes, she'd be in prison right now
You may be worthless to one person, but priceless to another. You just have to be smart enough to differentiate between the two.
Hey idiots who worship celebrities; if they had to shoot you or their dog, they'd also chop you up and watch the dog eat you.
Don't use your energy to worry...use your energy to believe!
the death rate should be near zero with all the FB praying going on nowadays...
If you get a call from a telemarketer, hand the phone to a three-year-old and tell him it's Santa Claus.
If someone throws a stone at you, be nice and throw a flower at them........ but remember to throw the flower pot with it!!!!!!!
I just bought a fridge magnet and it's working great. I have 10 fridges so far.
Attention: Tonight's anticipated "northern lights" will not be presented. Due to US Government budget cuts...they were cancelled just like the US Navy Blue Angels and US Air Force Thunderbirds demo teams.
Memo to Lindsay Von. When it ends badly, EVERYONE saw it coming except the Kardashians...
Friday Night Pick Up Line: Either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it is your choice. 