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I hope the Olympics teaches kids and parents that in real life you do not get a trophy just for participating. 
Spike the football, hang on the goal post, hump the wind, do the funky chicken, get in ur opponents face & gloat but for God's sake don't pray on a football field, that;s inappropriate. I say do ur thang Tebow. Maybe the Colts need to do a little Tebowing
If you're not with me, you're against me!! And, if you're against me...well, hello there!! ;)
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I like to play "Rodeo Cowboy" with my girlfriend. Whenever we're making love and I'm behind her, I call her by a different name and see how long I can hold on.
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
a cereal killer
We need to have a man to man talk! Well if not man to man, mustache to mustache at least
Are you there, nothing? It's me, an atheist.
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it's only Tuesday.
We will spend over 700 million dollars to take pictures of another planet when we have Veterans on our own Planet not getting the care that they deserve. This is a MESSED UP WORLD !!!
Hey Obama, where's the change? I need it to pay for gas!
looking to the 8 ball for all the answers
"Marijuana is a gateway drug." Yeah, a gateway to fun.
took the "What color are you?" quiz and the result is: Plaid
Money doesn't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in my private jet
Wait. The US has a soccer team?
I saw Tom Brady hanging around my car.... Sure enough, I got in, started the car and the low tire pressure light came on.
If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?
Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers...make sure you hands are clean! 