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The best friendships are built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and inappropriateness. 
Hey boys and girls, If Bernie Sanders is a "Conscientious Objector" to all wars ...... How Could He , In a SANE WORLD, Possibly Become the COMMANDER IN CHIEF of the military?
Remember,,, If a three year old is quiet, they are usually trying to burn your house down and find batteries to eat
Divorce changes you... For instance, it makes you single......... * Inspirational post
Yes Timmy,, The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons............ but mostly morons, the universe is FULL of morons..
Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.
26 years later,, and we still haven't touched this
Family with benefits. - Rednecks.
Let's have a ''Bring Your Gun'' on Black Friday and see the diffrence it makes.
Exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!
Redneck word of the day : "OBAMA"… I BOUGHT ME A CASE OF BEER AND DRANK IT OBAMA SELF!
What's 69+69? Dinner for four.
"Doh!, the stuff that buys me beer, Ray, the guy who sells me beer, Me, the one who drinks the beer.Far, a long run to get beer, So, I'll have another beer, La, I'll have another beer, Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer and that's why I'm not here! "
if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays
Yesterday, President Obama played his 100th round of golf since taking office. You could tell it was Obama, because he finished about 14 trillion over par
Some people think it's wrong I refer to a co-worker as "the little abortion that got away."
its official, I'm old. I sat down to use the bathroom this morning and teabaged the toilet water!!
I wonder if Edward Cullen's Load looks like glitter glue??
it might be helpful and less stressful to have a baby AFTER you finish college. Not before.
I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later. 