Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3732 of 5594

   messageicon The best friendships are built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and inappropriateness.
←Rate | 11-15-2013 22:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey boys and girls, If Bernie Sanders is a "Conscientious Objector" to all wars ...... How Could He , In a SANE WORLD, Possibly Become the COMMANDER IN CHIEF of the military?
←Rate | 04-09-2016 22:26 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Remember,,, If a three year old is quiet, they are usually trying to burn your house down and find batteries to eat
←Rate | 12-03-2013 19:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Divorce changes you... For instance, it makes you single......... * Inspirational post
←Rate | 03-07-2014 15:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes Timmy,, The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons............ but mostly morons, the universe is FULL of morons..
←Rate | 04-21-2014 08:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.
←Rate | 05-16-2014 20:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon 26 years later,, and we still haven't touched this
←Rate | 08-15-2015 16:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Family with benefits. - Rednecks.
←Rate | 10-16-2015 11:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's have a ''Bring Your Gun'' on Black Friday and see the diffrence it makes.
←Rate | 11-28-2015 23:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!
←Rate | 06-03-2011 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Redneck word of the day : "OBAMA"… I BOUGHT ME A CASE OF BEER AND DRANK IT OBAMA SELF!
←Rate | 08-05-2011 06:46 by Lozo | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's 69+69? Dinner for four.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 05:21 by Dopey420 Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Doh!, the stuff that buys me beer, Ray, the guy who sells me beer, Me, the one who drinks the beer.Far, a long run to get beer, So, I'll have another beer, La, I'll have another beer, Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer and that's why I'm not here! "
←Rate | 09-08-2009 19:03 by cj Comments (0)  


   messageicon if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays
←Rate | 12-24-2009 08:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday, President Obama played his 100th round of golf since taking office. You could tell it was Obama, because he finished about 14 trillion over par
←Rate | 06-19-2012 18:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people think it's wrong I refer to a co-worker as "the little abortion that got away."
←Rate | 03-31-2010 13:15 by l.smith Comments (0)  


   messageicon its official, I'm old. I sat down to use the bathroom this morning and teabaged the toilet water!!
←Rate | 07-22-2010 08:47 by Tracy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Edward Cullen's Load looks like glitter glue??
←Rate | 08-15-2010 00:29 by ANGELA Comments (0)  


   messageicon it might be helpful and less stressful to have a baby AFTER you finish college. Not before.
←Rate | 08-22-2009 03:22 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later.
←Rate | 08-27-2010 11:42 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left