Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
likes to think that when she squishes a spider, its final thought is, "Good. Being a spider is miserable." 
The Christmas package of Wild Turkey now comes with bail money and pants.
I am going to open a coffee house and charge more than Starbucks. The sign above my cafe will be written ever so elegantly, "Voler Votre Argent."
We can put a man on the moon. Create a device the cooks food in minutes if not seconds. We have GPS and smart phones. But we can't even cure the common cold??
secretly transformed himself into this status message an is now having sex with your eyes. You are smiling, you must like it. ;)
A Million Words Would Not Bring You Back, I Know Because I've Tried. Neither Would A Million Tears, I Know Because I've Cried.........
working for the weekend
's laugh is so contagious they created a vaccine for it
life's a b***h, but she throws one hell of a party..
I hate it when people steal my ideas before I think of them.
people get hurt when others don't have the nerve to say what they truly feel
me and procrastinating have this love hate relationship going on.... but I'll do it later...
House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
Actual Headline: Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
BP Spewing More Lies Than Originally Estimated
packing for beach vacation - cross the oil off the list
You can't talk to me that way. Seriously, turn towards me so I can hear what you're saying.
If you think about it, "This was the greatest day of my life" is a very pessimistic statement.
IEBER FEVER: Symptoms include elevated temperature, undergarment wetting and nine octave higher range while screeching. For those in proximity of sufferers symptoms include nausea, vomiting and desire to kick Justin Bieber in his empty sack gonads
Today is National Oatmeal Day, or as Charlie Sheen calls it, National Cocaine and Strippers Day. 