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Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 36 of 41
Stop everything you're doing... Think about me... You're welcome...
18
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04-22-2010 17:36 by
Joser
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Conserve water on earth day, drink more beer....
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04-22-2010 13:30 by
Joser
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I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.
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04-22-2010 09:13 by
Joser
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The sign outside the Burger King that says Now Hiring Closers is obviously spelled with a silent C.
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04-22-2010 09:07 by
Joser
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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04-22-2010 09:06 by
Joser
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Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write "tip jar" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back...
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04-22-2010 09:05 by
Joser
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I know what Cinco de Mayo is, I just don't know when it is.
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04-21-2010 13:52 by
Joser
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Evidently that good Samaritan bullsh*t doesn't apply when you help an old lady cross the street on the hood of your car.
60
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04-20-2010 23:46 by
Joser
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They say there's a sucker born every minute but I'd be more curious to find out at what rate swallowers are born.
88
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04-20-2010 22:41 by
Joser
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today is 4-20! ...like I had to tell you... sit back .relax. and show some love :)
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04-20-2010 12:45 by
Joser
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I wonder how many bongs I can collect before my mother figures out they're not vases?
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04-20-2010 12:37 by
Joser
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Why are there so many words coming out of you in such a short period of time?
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04-20-2010 12:37 by
Joser
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"Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull Volcano" Earth's way of Celebrating 4/20
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04-20-2010 02:19 by
Joser
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I just ate so much ravioli I could sh*t an Italian. If it turns out to be Snooki, you all better thank me when I flush that crazy b*tch.
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04-19-2010 22:11 by
Joser
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How can anybody call themselves a Life Coach when they haven't even played a whole game yet?
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04-19-2010 22:10 by
Joser
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Lifted the toilet lid to find poop in the bowl, either someone forgot to flush or this toilet is from 5 seconds in the future.
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04-19-2010 22:07 by
Joser
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it just me or does orange juice taste funny without vodka?
128
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04-19-2010 22:06 by
Joser
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Going to Prehab... On the off chance that I get addictions...
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04-19-2010 22:06 by
Joser
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Well there's only one way to find out how many of my coworkers secretly wish that I'd punch them...
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04-19-2010 22:05 by
Joser
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I've just drank Gatorade.. still waiting to sweat colors...
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04-19-2010 22:04 by
Joser
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