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We can put a man on the moon. Create a device the cooks food in minutes if not seconds. We have GPS and smart phones. But we can't even cure the common cold?? 
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
just saw a sign on a church that read, "Don't give up. Moses was a basket case too." LOL!
thinks that a couch in a nudist colony has to smell like ass.
I like the Summertime. But What I like the most is Women, Video Games, Pizza and Beer. So if I get all of those at the same time, then I've pretty much found my Center in the Sun."
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
Build a man a fire he's warm for a day, set him on fire and he's warm the rest of his life.
ENGAGED!! ..........in a good cause
Obama's speech tonight: Me me me me I I I I me I me I me me me I my my me me I I my me. Oh, and I........
I had a nightmare. I was having s-e-x with Paula Dean d0ggie style. I was pulling her hair and she was screaming, "AH CAINT BLEEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!"
joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them.
stimulating his package.
poured his heart out, it evaporated....
thinks the fine people at Aleve are very wise indeed. For headaches, take two Aleve, and keep away from children.
No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
New Yorkers could probably bail that water out a lot faster if they weren't limited to using 16 oz cups huh Bloomberg? BABOOM! *drops micc
If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I can only hope that they split us up by music genre.
I don't care that you don't support The President. Hell, you can't even support yourself !
R.I.P. Rosie O'Donnell. Oh, sorry. It was Hugh Hefner who died. I thought it said Huge Heifer.
The new white Iphone is so white, that all Siri talks about is Pumpkin Spice Lattes, and it instagrams all of your food automatically. 