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Wayne Gretzky's son has opened a Parmesan cheese factory and it's ranked number 1 in the world.......He will now go down in history.....forever known as, "The Grate One"...... 
Today sucked so much it featured a guest verse from Pitbull
Get a load of this guy" - worst slogan for a sperm bank
If Oreo's taught me one thing, it's that taking your food apart and licking it before you eat it is perfectly normal.
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
Ice cream is clearly God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
Justin Bieber aka "Douche Nizzel" says Miranda Kerr made him a man... I didn't know she was able to perform such a specialized operation on such a fragile looking little girl. Man do I hate "celebrities"!
The guy that named the Pterodactyl could have learned a lot from the guy that named the Fly.
Every time I see a beautiful woman with an idiot, I think to myself... this is a pretty good picture of my wife and me
it just me, or does el Chapo sound like a low budget Mexican Restauraunt? Where ya wanna go eat? I duuno.. Let's try el Chapo's
I just put on a jacket I last wore at a wedding in 2002. And found Nokia 3210 in the pocket. It still has 2 bars of battery left.
She lost me at, "let's talk about that dress."
it REALLY stereotyping when we all know it true?
Barbies only upset because Ken came in another box
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
Now that the government is closed, I am taking over thee country and claiming legal rights as President, you all answer to me now. . .
It's 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
I have a cell phone a Ipad a laptop, stop sending me reminders to turn my clocks back...it's called automatic updates!
someone needs to tell Wyclef he can come back now.
100% of all divorces began with getting married... 