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between the soccer team that crashed in the Andes and those 33 miners, Chile has a very good record of disasters with happy endings... 
Oh, nothing just admiring the shape of your skull..
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.
#4 Girl, did you know your eyes are such a beautiful color of blue . . . It reminds me of the water in my toilet . . .
My dream is to be an alcoholic and unemployed. Oh sh*t wait a minute my dream came true 5 months ago.
feels like I am at a crossroad. I know you should take the road less traveled... but then who do you hang out with?
having humpty dumpty for breakfast
If candy was named after a High School social group like "Nerds," than would they come out with candy named "Hoes" and "Jocks?"
wonders at what point in a proctologists life do they decide, 'When I grow up, I want to be sure everyones a$$ho!e is puckered up and functional!"
Just ONE Saturday night I'd like to go without drunk-dialing Barbara Walters.
..is having a threesome with two men tonight : Ben &Jerry. x
Good morning, and a Happy Hurricane Season to all.......
I get speechless whenever I see a heavy woman in spandex, usually because my tongue gets tied trying to say "Flubber hugging lady leggings".
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck. In that case, be me ;)
Big Question! Is Justin Baiber a female or a male? I am googling but not getting any straight answer.
More birds dying in packs. This time in Atlanta
wishes I could search Google for my car keys...
Lingerie is just expensive wrapping paper.
Im not addicted to fb, Its just you never get on... 