Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3010 of 5594

   messageicon a coincidence is only a coincidence if you don't have an open mind
←Rate | 01-23-2011 13:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I am king, you will be first against the wall, With your opinion which is of no consequence at all.
←Rate | 04-17-2010 01:51 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Larry King has used up 8 of his 9 wives....
←Rate | 04-20-2010 11:03 by Gnarleycharley@mac.com Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women did not exist, all of the money in the world would have no meaning.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 00:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty damn sure me wife is in the 33% of the married women who claim their pets are better listeners than their husbands - last night I saw the cat desparately going through my draw, may be trying to find my noise cancellation headphones !!!
←Rate | 05-05-2010 09:28 by SH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Richard Blumenthal clarifies - he served at 'Vie et Nam' a restaurant in Greenwich
←Rate | 05-18-2010 17:41 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if cows refer to their sons as cowboys.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 12:28 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon I took my dog for a walk and played Frisbee with him, but he was useless. I really need to get a flatter dog.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 18:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon more people should be less like most people.
←Rate | 05-29-2010 17:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not a control freak. I prefer the term "predictability enthusiast".
←Rate | 06-01-2010 22:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since Facebook came into my life I have completely neglected MySpace. This must be what parents feel like when they have a second child.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 08:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it one you always wish for is out there somewhere...just waiting for the right time for you both to meet..and it will happen when you least expect it... :)
←Rate | 06-13-2010 23:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Maybe later..." is a polite way of saying "Never"
←Rate | 09-01-2010 18:56 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know you are on facebook too much if there are no new status message since the last time you logged in..and you have over 700 friends
←Rate | 09-10-2010 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 18:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm dving behind someone who is obviously scared of his gas pedal.
←Rate | 09-17-2010 19:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor pays for the premium channels.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so happy Facebook wasn't around when I was in high school.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 16:57 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out that I've been on double secret probation for quite sometime now.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Gluttony really is a sin, according to a recent poll, 67% of Americans are going straight to hell.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 17:25 by Tracy Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left