Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 2976 of 5594

   messageicon I see Boomerangs are making a comeback
←Rate | 05-05-2010 18:46 by sellers82 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am anxious about how much Xanax I'm taking.
←Rate | 05-11-2010 17:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired
←Rate | 06-07-2010 21:57 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Heaven is where the Police are British, the Chefs are French, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 11:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon congratulates Chris CMac on discovering his stream of consciousness - lame Chris but at least you're thinking
←Rate | 12-21-2010 16:19 by Rasta Comments (0)  


   messageicon One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 15:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My buddy Jim has an impressive New Year's resolution. No more sex, no beer, no football, no nights out with the guys and no looking at other women. He's getting married tonight!!
←Rate | 12-31-2010 08:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: Next time I'm sleepy or feel tired @ work...bring some habañero peppers to munch on.
←Rate | 01-06-2011 11:54 by Dale225 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that the older I get , the more young people look the same...That, or Justin Bieber just delivered my nespaper.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 15:20 by Shawnee Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Diamonds are forever. But so is herpes." This is why I never get hired to write advertising campaigns.
←Rate | 01-16-2011 09:36 by yo Comments (0)  


   messageicon taking a mental vaction. Leave a message, and when my mind returns I will get back to you.
←Rate | 04-21-2009 13:03 by Ron | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon spending time with his/her two true loves... Friday and beer!
←Rate | 08-28-2009 23:49 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon filling in the blanks with packing kernels
←Rate | 10-07-2009 12:17 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon never playing truth or dare again...
←Rate | 11-16-2009 17:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jethro Leroy Gibbs>The President address
←Rate | 12-02-2009 17:10 by Nitsua Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy and Safe New Year and Enjoy a Wonderful 2010 ~ Worry Less and Relax More ~
←Rate | 12-31-2009 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women prefer men who have something tender about them -- especially the financial kind.
←Rate | 02-24-2010 13:15 by Ujjwal Comments (0)  


   messageicon been trying to remember the name of that disease that causes baldness, but I can't think of it off the top of my head.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 20:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is nature's way of keeping people from fighting with strangers.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 15:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left