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Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1? 
. No, "Thank You" isn't a lot to say outwardly, but it's all I CAN say when all other words fail me. Thank You....endlessly.
In retrospect, everything is foreshadowing.
Wished they would make roads wider so I could drive sideways and not hit anything
sublimawesomeinal...
facebook is having its epic fail at this very moment!
bp should practice what they preach, Seen at every BP gas station is a sign that reads "Do not leave pumps unattended, you are responsible for spills"...
rejects your reality and substitutes his own properly medicated version.
1 potato 2 potato 3 potato phhhhwooahhhhh
smiling cause the little voices inside his/her head is whispering again and it tickles
you never really know a man until you have divorced him.
Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off
seriously needs a speed bump between his brain and his mouth!
doesn't use sunscreen because his lifestyle makes it far more likely his liver, lungs, or heart will deteriorate before his skin
thinks there are 3 types of people in this world, those that can count and those that cant!
reporting live from Suburbia. Where they cut down all the trees and name roads after them.
Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness."
fighting racism through his equal hatred of everyone that isn't a beautiful woman.
last night I was lying in bed looking up at the stars and thinking ... Man, I really got to fix my roof!!
will not be updating his status today.. 