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Tom Brady has to go home and plow his Super Model wife now cause it will be the only was he is scoring anytime soon 
I've decided that if I ever go into witness protection my name will be Mr. Dobalina, Mr. Bob Dobalina
I'm turning 40 tomorrow. My new pose pics will be the "cougar claw", no more peace signs for me.
Telling my nephew that leprechauns store their gold in electrical sockets and that he'd need a fork to get it out probably wasn't a good idea.
thinks you should know that you don't HAVE to be crazy to be my friend...but it helps!!
sick and tired of handicap people always getting pushed around
remembers the good old days when, C0CK meant ROOSTER, PU$$Y meant CAT, MAKING OUT meant coming to a deduction, A$$ meant DONKEY, JUGS meant vessels to put liquid beverages in and COMING meant the opposite of GOING!.....DAH! times have really changed!
n't it a shame that Isla m is such a fragile religion that the mere sight of Buddhist statues, Bibles or Barbie Dolls serve to threaten it's very existence?
NASCAR=National Assembly Of Super Crazy A$$ Rednecks
Good News! We just got our taxes done and we'll be getting a refund! It should be just enough to pay for getting our taxes done! ツ
I want a monster in my bed, not under it.
Facebook is probably the most efficient way of telling as many people as possible that you're lonely. ツ
Men are only as loyal as their options
Every time she asks what you're thinking about, tell her buttsex.
Judging by the music and decorations at Walmart we're only 3 days away from Fox News War on Christmas season.
If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
Lady Gaga admitted that she does cocaine. Not really surprising news. What is surprising? She snorts it off her penis.
thinks the Media is just milking the negitivity in this Swine Flu situation. On the plus side, there is now recession beating prices on Mexican pork chops.
wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger. Then it hit
can finally watch the tv in the afternoon now. Oprah show is going off the air. 