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Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right? 
the people sitting around me should all be wearing helmets
Thought it was true love, but you know women lie.
note to mistress...if I am ever trapped in a mine or anywhere that TV crews and the WHOLE world is watching...please keep your a** at home..watch it on TV..I will call you when I can....just sayin..lol Happy Thursday...smile
I'm really starting to get concerned about the lack of seatbelt use on the bangbus..
Whatever happen to all the Kony fever?
Occupy North Pole, because Santa loves the rich kids more.........
FACT: Handicapped parking spaces to handicapped drivers ratio is way too high.
Once you're on the third movie, isn't it just Normal Activity?
Blah Blah Blah can you Blah Blah Blah . Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah . I need you to Blah Blah Blah . I think my wife is talking to me
Thank you hot syrupy flavor, every morning I wake to savor, I drink you with one eye sleepy that fact I can rhyme this early is kinda creepy
When black girls take off their earrings you know s$it just got real.
Whoever said "If you love something, let it go" should have clarified that statement with "but not if it's a baby!"
Other than Whitney Houston...all the dates are wrong. Jackson was 50, JFK was 46 and Winehouse was 27..to make a joke..get the facts right..becomes funnier..Little thing called Google
No but seriously if you are still posting pics of what you got for Valentines you do know you are the other chick right?
Sorry! i'm not desperate because i'm single. I'm single, because i'm not desperate.
My piss constantly smells of Sugar Puffs, The doctor asked me today if it hurts? I said "Only when the free plastic toy comes out."
The older you get, the better you are at doing, but the worse you look doing it.
This one time my date was really ugly but I was horny so I roofied both our drinks :/
U don't need friends to show how cool you r, or how great ur personality is. The tiger spends most of his time alone while sheeps are always in a herd 