You know it's time to break-up when the little things start to piss you off: "Damn girl, do you HAVE to close your eyes every time you blink? F*ck this sh!t, I'M OUT!"
Movie characters are always so badass. If they wake up mysteriously in a hospital alone and beaten up, they just rip the IV right out their arm and slip past the nurses. I would at least want to see my chart first, and maybe get some juice.
Whenever I choose to go down the stairs next to a crowded escalator, I feel the need to move faster than the escalator to prove to the people on board that I made the better decision.
cannot stress enough that grammar is important: Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse