Funny Status Messages

   I just saw a commercial for Ramen noodles on the Food Network. Now that takes some balls...

   Brexit could be followed by Grexit, Departugal, Italeave, Czechout, Oustria, Finish, Slovakout, Latervia, Byegium. Only Remania will stay.

   Go fund me = internet panhandling

   I watched some of the debate last night...I kept on waiting for someone to say "Live from New York it's Saturday Nite"!!!!! But it never happened.....

   Airport security asked me if I've seen anything unusual...I just paid $18 for a coke & a ham sandwich...Let's start with that.

   Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole

   Ok, so it's 2012. Shouldn't we be living like the Jetsons by now?

   Karma is like a rubber-band...it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face!

   can't remember the last time I saw a commercial that didn't have to do with auto insurance, cars, beer, or b-o-n-e-r meds...

   If you are the "other person" in a relationship and eventually get together, you have no reason to be angry if they cheat on you later.

   "It's ok! I'm a professional." ---says me in pretty much any situation

   I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison.

   When Life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say "You hit like a bit$h."

   I waited so long to do laundry, that now I'm headed to the Laundromat wearing my Halloween costume….

   I often wonder why there is no step ladder next to the "Ball Washer" at my golf course...

   Just because we share the same skin colour does not follow that I am obliged to always support you in every foolish and idiotic thing you say or do.

   If I had a time machine I'd show Albert Einstein the Internet and ruin everything.

   Trying to decide what I hate more: 1. Mondays or 2. People who complain about how much they hate Mondays

   anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn't matter what. I just need something to drink to.

   The rhinoceros is just a fat, lazy unicorn