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Obama said he wouldn't let his son play football bc he fears it would cause dementia. Someone should tell Obama that he doesn't have a son. 
trying to kick the habit.... but nicotine gum is a hard habit to break...
When I was a kid squirt guns were my favorite toy... Now I'm an adult and making women squirt is my favorite thing. I guess some things never change!
How can someone who makes less than 200,000 a year vote Republican I'll never understand.
So a man walks into a bar with a monkey.. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother's a whòrë.
A friend that steals your tortilla chips is, Nacho friend.
TWILIGHT - An epic saga about a young woman's struggle to choose between Necrophilia and Bestiality
I've heard that the hardest part of Rollerblading is telling your parents that you're gay.
do snitches still get stiches under obamacare?
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction,,, I hope there's no hard feelings
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears just signed a "No Super Bowl for seven more years" contract today
Ok super positive people, just calm down…not everything is a Gift, a Blessing or a Miracle.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue. You look bangable, so I'll add you.
If your girlfriend doesn’t like that bi&ch, you don’t talk to that bi&ch.
Not all of us are looking for masturbation, d*ck, or p*ssy jokes.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
I hope no babies were killed at the Planed Parenthood shooting
Why are there no Knock Knock jokes about America? Because Freedom rings.
When buying a new flat screen T.V, always remember to put the box in the neighbor's trash can so you don't get robbed. 