If I were a pirate I'd skip the skulls and crossbones, and bedazzle a Hello Kitty themed boat. I'd never get caught, cause nobody would admit I robbed them.
Dear Facebook friend, I was so super excited to read your post about you having pork chops for dinner. It was almost as captivating as your story about taking your grandmother to the grocery store. Where do you come up with this stuff???
Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.